Phallic Sweet Potato Phalafel

Makes 16-20 falafels



· 1 cup dry chickpeas (must be dry, do not used canned or you will seriously fuck this shit up)

· 2 large sweet potatoes, peeled and diced into 1-inch chunks

· 1 tablespoon butter

· 1 small onion, chopped

· 1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley

· 3 cloves garlic, chopped

· 1 1/2 teaspoons salt

· 2 teaspoons cumin

· 1 teaspoon red pepper flakes

· 1 tablespoon olive oil



To start, preheat your oven to 375. Bring 2 cups of water to boil in a medium saucepan. Add your dry chickpeas (this might be the only time we insist on something being dry) and boil for 15 minutes. Put a large frying pan on medium heat and melt the butter before dropping in your sweet potato chunks. Cook for 15 minutes or until tender like your man's lips trailing down your neck.

Drain the chickpeas in a colander and remove the potatoes from heat. Place all of the ingredients into a food processor and blend until combined but still chunky. Don’t blend it too smooth; you want some texture when you pop these peens in your mouth. Scoop the mixture into a bowl and begin to craft your shafts. 

The dough should be nice and thick (nothing you haven’t handled before). Roll out a nice shaft with the palms of your hand and place it onto a baking sheet. Use a heaping teaspoon of dough to roll into a ball. Roll another one and place the peen-pieces together on a baking sheet. Use your fingers to smooth out the crack between the balls and shaft, flip him over and smooth the other side. Repeat this with the rest of the dough until you have a fleet of phallic falafel.

Take your 1 tablespoon of olive oil and a brush, and get your Christian Grey on. Lube up each peen & bake for 18-20 minutes. Serve hot with pita bread or on top of a salad.

Goes great with our recipe for Freaky Tzatziki.