Garlic Smashed Potatoes with Mushroom Baby Gravy

Serves 6-8



For the potatoes:

· 3 big ass potatoes (like “if you saw these on a man, you’d be out the door” big), peeled and quartered

· 2 tbsp butter

· ½ cup chopped fresh chives

· ½ cup sour cream

· 2 cloves garlic, chopped

· Salt and pepper to taste


For the gravy:

· 3 Tbsp butter or cooking oil

· 2 cloves garlic, minced

· 8 oz. mushrooms, sliced

· 3 Tbsp all-purpose flour

· 2 cups beef-flavored vegetable broth

· ⅓ cup of red wine

· 3 sprigs fresh thyme

· 1 tsp fresh sage

· Salt and pepper to taste



For the potatoes: Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add your potatoes and cook until tender but still firm, like your man's fine ass. Drain and return to the stove on low heat for 1-2 minutes. This next part is going to be quick and dirty—so get ready.

Now the orgy begins—toss the rest of your ingredients into the pot with the potatoes and use a potato masher (or a whisk/large fork) and mash until smooth—these guys don't mind if you're a little rough. Scoop your mashed potatoes onto a serving plate and use your hands to form a nice, thick peen. Drizzle with your mushroom gravy and you're done. It's so fucking easy, it's easier than fucking.


For the gravy: Melt the butter in a large skillet over medium heat and add the garlic, sautéing for 1-2 minutes, or just until they go soft and become fragrant (enjoy this rare opportunity to get excited about something going soft). Add in your sliced mushrooms and continue to cook until they're soft, dark, and all their moisture evaporates—about 5 minutes (this one's a quickie).

Turn the heat down to medium-low and add the flour, continuing to stir with your butter and mushrooms for 3 minutes or until the flour just begins to turn golden brown. This will lightly toast the flour and give your gravy a richer flavor—men, take note.

Slowly add your vegetable broth and red wine, whisking well to make sure all the flour dissolves off the bottom and no lumps remain—we like our gravy like we like our pickup lines: smooth as fuck. Add your sprigs of fresh thyme, sage, and some freshly cracked pepper, stirring to combine everything.

Allow your mixture to come to a simmer. As things start to heat up, your gravy will start to thicken (like all good things should). Let it simmer for 7-10 minutes, whisking often, until it's as thick as you want it—we all have different tastes. Remember it will continue to thicken as it cools. Add salt and pepper to your taste and serve your baby gravy to take any dish from a 7 to a 10.