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PUMPIN' PIE

A honey pumpkin pie so simple, spicy, and sweet, we had to put dicks on it so you wouldn't put one in it.

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GARLIC SMASHED POTATOES WITH MUSHROOM BABY GRAVY

Creamy potatoes topped with an insanely flavorful sauce—because no feast, whether in bed or on the table, is finished without the gravy.

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MANMEAT LOAF

What it lacks in meat, it more than makes up for in man. So filling, it might just make you walk funny after dinner.

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PEAR & GORGONZOLA PEENZA

This classy, white pizza will probably be the best thing to go in your mouth all day. Sorry boys, you just can't compete with melted cheese.

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COCKPRESE SALAD

Make this simple tomato, mozzarella, and basil salad as an appetizer for your next dinner party (or better yet, adult slumber party).

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COCKAMOLE & CHIPS

When it's Friday night and you can't decide between late night guac or late night cock, make this midnight snack to satisfy all of your cravings.

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FRIED TOFU & PEEN-NUT SAUCE

Fry up this quick and hearty appetizer that's guaranteed to bust a nut in your mouth.

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MISO CORNY

Hot, roasted corn dripping wet with miso and honey. Someone buy this dish a drink or we will!

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DARK CHOCOLATE COCK POPS

Add a sprinkle of dark dicks to your dessert routine to mix things up in the dining room and the bedroom. Guaranteed to melt in your mouth.

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BERRY CREAMED PUFFS

A serving of fruit, a serving of cream, and a serving of D—what more could you want in a dessert? Make these for your best friend's birthday.

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GREEN PEEN RICOTTA TOAST

With this easy recipe, you're only 10 minutes away from swimming in green pea & peen heaven. I mean, Mom did always tell you to eat your greens…

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ZUPEENI FRITTERS

Turn this classic phallic green vegetable into these crispy fritters with tangy yogurt sauce to make your tastebuds curl.

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